Anomalistic
by AlisonKing
Summary: What would happen if Harry wasn't the goodytwo shoes everyone was expecting? Get ready to met him! Featuring Independant, sarcastic, slightly dark Harry, free Sirius eventually, and guardian angels. Rated for language. Not for anyone under 16 to 17.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters, places, plots etc. All I own is this story idea and my characters that I made up.

This is my first Harry Potter fic on here so please be kind. Also, there is a LOT of foul language in here, thus the rating. So don't complain about it. I haven't written anything besides poems for awhile, so forgive the rusty edges.

* * *

"Name?"

"Um…" The young girl looked around confused, "Eira James…Where am I?"

"Wherever you believe. Faith?"

Eira blinked. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Excuse me? Faith? Faith in what? And what do you mean wherever I believe?"

"What belief system are you a part of?"

She shook her head in disbelief. Ignoring the voice, she took in her surroundings once more and was almost blinded. Everything was so…bright. White light stretched on outwards for what appeared to be miles. It looked like she was in some kind of room or building that had far too much electricity. Eira rolled her eyes. Well it wasn't like she was the one paying the bill.

"Please answer the question so you can be sorted." The voice came out of nowhere again. Eira scowled.

"Why should I?" She challenged. "You've barely answered mine. And where the hell are you anyway? There's no one here but me."

"I am everywhere and nowhere. You could not see me if you tried. You are currently in the Processing Room. Once you are done here, you will go on to the afterlife of your belief, what ever that may be. Now I ask again, what is your belief system?"  
She froze in trepidation.

"Afterlife?" Eira whispered faintly. "I'm…dead?"

"Yes."

Her heart pounded desperately.

"But…but how?" She shook her head in denial and looked up, eyes shining, "I can't be dead. I have too much to live for! A…a family! Friends! I have a job and a car and a dog that no one else cares for! I can't die, who will take care of him?!" A trickle of salty tears fell slowly down her cheek as her mind raced frantically. How could she be dead? She didn't do anything wrong! Every door in her house was always locked and laced with alarms, she always went the speed limit and used her turn lights. Hell, she even looked both ways before crossing the street! How the fucking hell could she be dead?!

"You were killed in an automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. Your neck was snapped on impact and your body beyond that was damaged far beyond repair once your vehicle exploded. You and the other driver were the only deaths. Now please answer the question. You are not the only soul needing sorting."

Her head swam and she started shaking in despair and rage. A drunk driver?! She lost her life because some no good alcoholic had one to many and stupidly decided to go on a joyride? Because of some dipshit moron she'd never see her family and friends again. She'd never get married or have kids and grandkids. Drawing a shaky breath, she replied hoarsely.

"I'm spiritual but not religious."

"Do you believe in any sort of deity?"

"Yes…um." Eira rubbed her face, trying to concentrate, "A God and Goddess. The Lord and Lady."

"Ah. So are Pagan."

"If you really want to classify me, then yes."

"What is your age?"

"18."

"Any great regrets in your life."

Eira looked up glaring.

"Yeah. Dying."

"You would prefer to live once more?"

Her heart leaped with hope. Was it possible? Could she go back to living and forget this whole 'dying' thing ever happened?

"You can bring me back to life?"

"No." Her heart sank. "As I told you, your body was beyond repair. Even if it was possible, you would not have much of a life."

"Oh." She replied softly.

"What did you believe would happen when you died?"

"I…I fancied myself to become an angel of sorts. Helping the living…live, I guess."

"Then you may be in luck. You fit the minimum requirements to be recruited for angel duty."

Eira's eyes widened and she gasped.

"I do? So I can become an angel and go back down to Earth to watch over my loved ones?"

"No. If recruited, you will be sent to a parallel universe and assigned a purpose. Due to past troubles, angels are not allowed to be sent back to their home world."

Damn. She sighed sadly then turned her focus back to the voice.

"If I do get chosen, will I get to choose which world I get to go to?"

"It will be a world you are familiar with in one way or another."

Eira wrinkled her brow in confusion.

"But wait…how could I be familiar with another world if I've never been there?"

"Every story, book, movie and idea is a different world. If you create a new story, even if it is in your mind, you are essentially creating a new world."

Her eyes widened in awe and fascination.

"Really? So I'd be sent to the world of one of the stories I've written?"

"No. You would have too much control over that world. An angel is not to directly interfere with the world they are sent to. You would be sent to the world of your favorite book or movie, as long as it is not overcrowded with other angels."

"How do I get chosen?"

The voice laughed a little.

"You already have been Eira James. Tell me, what is your favorite book?"

* * *

Harry Potter was not having a good day. Actually, he wasn't having a good week. First he kept getting in trouble with his aunt and uncle because some psycho kept sending him letters wherever he went, and even though he _tried_ explaining to them that he didn't know who they were from or why they kept coming, he still got the bad end of his uncle's belt. Then, said crazy uncle, decided to go even more insane then he already was, and drive him, his aunt and fat cousin, Dudley, out into bumfuck Egypt, simply because he, Harry, kept getting strange letters that he wasn't even allowed to read and reply to! And that brought him back to where he was now. Stuck in some ratty worn down cabin on a rocky island in the middle of a storm. In. The. Middle. Of. Nowhere. On top of all that, his 11th birthday was the next day and he had to spend it here, of all places. If he _ever_ found out who had sent him all those letters, he'd ring their neck until they were blue in the face! Even his cupboard was more comfortable then this dump. It was warmer too. Harry shivered and glared hatefully at Dudley, who was snoring loudly on the one lumpy couch, covered in blankets. He wouldn't mind ringing Dudley's fat neck either, though he doubted his hands were big enough to fit around it.

He shivered once more and wrapped his one moth eaten sheet tighter around him. Oh well. He was used to making do with what little he had. It wasn't like his aunt and uncle ever gave him anything outside the bare necessities, even though Dudley got everything he wanted and then some. Breathing into his hands and rubbing them together in a desperate hope to warm them, Harry took a peek at his cousin's watch. 11:58. He'd be eleven years old in exactly two minutes. Not that anyone cared. He'd never once received a present or even a card for his birthday. Dudley made sure all the teachers and kids at their school hated him, so no one had ever even wished him a happy birthday either. At least, not that he remembered. He supposed his parents had when they were still alive, but then they just had to get into a car crash and die. Leaving him with his mother's sister, Petunia, and her ugly husband, Vernon Dursley. Harry glowered at the floor thinking about it. Even though it technically wasn't their fault, he wasn't sure if he could forgive his parent's for dying.

A beeping distracted him from his dark thoughts and he once again looked at Dudley's fat wrist. Midnight. He was officially eleven years old.

"Woohoo." He muttered bitterly. He had survived another year with the Durleys. Only seven more to go before he could leave them forever. Though he supposed he could always kill them in their sleep and run away afterwards. Harry brightened slightly with that thought then deflated when he realized he'd have to spend the rest of his life afterwards on the run. Damn. Even in his fantasies they ruined his life.

He sighed then stood up and walked towards the door. Maybe he could drown himself and make everyone happy. Or…Oh! He grinned. He could take the rowboat they used to get to the island and run away with it! Harry chuckled softly. His 'family' would be stuck on this hellhole then. Oh it was brilliant! He turned back and smirked at Dudley's sleeping form, then waved cheekily.

"Buh-bye fatso! Have a horrible life!" He snickered then stealthily slipped out the door and onto the rocky shore where he got the surprise of his life.

"Who the bleeding fuck are you?!"

* * *

"I get to go to the Harry Potter universe?!" Eira squealed excitedly.

"Yes." The voice replied, "Though you must be warned, not all is exactly how it is in the books. There is a lot not mentioned or changed to make the books more acceptable for children. The real world is much darker and mature then you have read."

She rolled her eyes.

"Well I kind of figured that out, I mean, Harry grows up with borderline abusive parental figures then goes off into a world on the verge of a war where half of the people he meets want him dead. I mean, not to insult J.K Rowling or anything, but it was quite obvious there was more to the story then what she was telling."

"Rowling wrote what she received. She is a conductor to this particular universe. But she was not given all the information, and as I said, some of the information she did receive she changed to make her books more marketable."

Eira shrugged. She didn't particularly care.

"When do I leave?"

"Once you are finished being briefed on your duties in this world you are to depart immediately. You will be given special powers specific to your purpose that you will have to figure out on your own. You will have knowledge of what they are and rudimentary instructions on how to use them, but it is up to you to hone and practice them."

She grinned, thoughts of her death pushed far into the depths of her mind.

"So what are they?"

"You will have the same magical abilities of 'normal' witches, only you will not have to use a wand. You could if you wished, but it would not be necessary. You will keep your latent empathy and clairvoyance, but they will grow exponentially. You will al"

"Whoa whoa. Wait a tick." Eira cut the voice off, "Are you saying that I seriously AM an empath and am clairvoyant?"

"Yes. You have had those gifts all your life though they have grown stronger as you grew older."

She blinked, surprised.

"Huh."

"As I was saying, you can also become an animagus although unlike normal witches and wizards, you can transform into more than one animal. It is up to you to discover how to do this. You may also bend energy and particles to your own will. There are thousands of different ways this ability will be useful and with some creativity, I am sure you will discover them. Now onto the side effects of being an angel."

"There are side effects?" She asked, slightly put down.

"Yes. Everything you do has a consequence. That is why you are not allowed to directly interfere with the world. As a precaution, no one in that world will be able to see you when you are in your human form. You will essentially be a spirit, though you will have a smell and people can feel you. The only ones able to see you will be other spirits, ghosts, etc. As you are technically dead, you cannot die though you can be drained of your energy. You must be very careful not to be discovered by the wrong people or they can trap you and use your energy to their own means. We have lost angels this way."

"Damn." She nodded earnestly, "I'll be careful."

"Good. Your purpose in this world will be to keep certain key individuals from turning from the path they are destined to follow. It is up to you to figure out who needs to be kept from straying and who does not. When you reach the world, you must sense and teleport to whomever you believe most needs your assistance. Keep in mind that wards will not be able to sense you so you can bypass them without fear of being noticed."

"Right." Eira nodded sharply, then hesitated looking down at her scorched and bloody clothing, "um…how will I be able to get new clothes? I mean, I don't look very angel-y like this."

"Like your other abilities, you must concentrate and focus on what you want to happen."

She blinked then nodded slowly.

"Riight. Vagueness. Thanks."

"Good luck and farewell."

Her eyes widened.

"Wait I'm leaving n-!"

* * *

Harry stared at the giant of a man in front of him.

Scratch that, he thought, _what_ the bleeding fuck are you?

The giant scratched his beard and grinned at him.

"You Harry then? Me names Hagrid. I'm keeper of the keys at Hogwarts."

Harry stared blankly at the giant-no man, thing, whatever.

"Hogwarts." He repeated hollowly. "What the fuck is a Hogwarts?"

Hagrid frowned at him.

"Ye got a mouth on ya don' ya? I'm talkin' 'bout Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Course ya got yer letter din' ya? Professor McGonagall only sent 'bout a thousand of 'em."

Harry felt his eye twitch in anger as he looked incredulously at Hagrid.

"_You_ were the ones who sent me all those stupid fucking letters?! You daft morons are the reason I'm stuck on this stupid rock with my idiotic family?! What, did you all decide to take your crazy pills this past week and send out anonymous letters to random ten year olds?! Are you fucking crazy or just pedophiles?!"

The giant frowned deeper at Harry.

"Ye didn' read yer letter then? Though' it explained everythin'." He started rustling through his coat pockets, muttering under his breath while Harry glared at him and twitched minutely.

"Ah, here we go." Hagrid finally pulled out a crinkled letter and handed to the glowering boy in front of him who took it gingerly.

"Mr. H. Potter, The Shore, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea." He read out loud sarcastically, and then glanced up at Hagrid, "You do this sort of thing often? Deliver suspicious letters to prepubescent boys? This your day job or just a hobby?"

Hagrid glared at the young boy he was starting to like less and less.

"Jus' read the letter, Harry."

"Don't get your knickers in a wrinkle, I will." Harry replied while opening the letter, "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore. (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards.) Ah." He said, looking at Hagrid, "Just what I always wanted to do. Go to a school where the headmaster likes to call himself the Supreme Mugwump. What is that exactly? Does it mean he gets at all the little kiddies first and the rest of you get his sloppy seconds?"

"Now you listen here," Hagrid growled, slowly turning a nice red shade, "Albus Dumbledore is the bes' wizard in the world and I won' stand here and lis'en to you insult 'im."

Harry blinked and waved his arm towards a large rock.

"Well by all means, you don't have to stand. You can always sit." The giant gaped at him, speechless but Harry ignored him in favor of continuing to read his letter.

"Dear Mr. Potter. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on the first of September. We await your own by no later than July 31. Sincerely Minerva McGonagall. Oh yes," He threw the letter to the side, "That explains so much. I'm so grateful that you people are so great at explaining things. All my questions have been answered! I now know the meaning of life! Oh thank you oh so much!"

Hagrid's left eye began to twitch slightly. Where was the sweet little boy he had expected? Dumbledore never said anything about Harry being less than benevolent.

"Well if ye hadn' figured it out yet Harry, yer a wizard."

Harry stared then started laughing.

"Surprise!" He exclaimed, deepening his voice, "Good job Harry ole boy! You're a fucking wizard! Here's your prize! A gigantic man who wants to sodomize you!" Abruptly he switched his voice back to normal while Hagrid's jaw dropped, "But sir! I don't want to be sodomized! I only just turned eleven ten minutes ago! Aren't I supposed to wait until I'm older to have sex?" He deepened his voice again, "What? Didn't you know? All male wizards get sodomized on their eleventh birthday by someone ten times their size. Just bend over and take it like a ma"

"Enough!" Hagrid roared, interrupting Harry's…charade game, "I am not here to sodomize ya. No one at Hogwarts wants ta either. Now, Headmaster Dumbledore sent me here to take ya to Diagon Alley in the morn ta get yer school supplies. Be ready by dawn."

Harry hummed thoughtfully then sighed and started towards the row boat.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Hagrid ole chap. But since I don't trust you further then I can throw you," he eyed the giant briefly, "I'm gunna have to deny." He jumped into the boat and smiled brightly, "Good evening. I wouldn't suggest waking the Dursleys, they're rather violent when they first wake up." He started to push off.

"Don' ya at least want to see yer parents' vault? Each got there own down at Gringotts. " Hagrid questioned, rather confused by this Harry.

Harry froze then slowly turned around.

"Are you saying that my parents were wizards?" He asked hoarsely.

"Darn good 'uns. There was no better people then Lily an' James Potter." Hagrid replied then sniffled, "Tragic what happened, it is."

"You mean the car crash?"

The gigantic man bristled.

"Car crash? Who said nothin' bout a car crash? They were murdered by You-Know-Who ten years ago. Ain' no car crash gunna kill Lily an' James Potter. Rubbish."

Harry laughed harshly, shaking his head in disbelief. Those sons of bitches, he thought. I'm going to fucking kill them.

"This You-Know-Who character. Who the hell is he?" He asked trying to keep calm.

"Well he was a dark wizard. As dark as they can go. Gathered a bunch o' followers 'round twenty years back, started killing whoever got in 'is way. Yer parents' were on the top o' his hit list." Hagrid shook his head sadly, "Finally got 'em too, on Halloween when ye were just a tiny lad."

Harry bowed his head at this, trying to take it all in. His parents were wizards, thus now _he_ was a wizard. His idiotic so called 'family' had lied to him all his life.

"I'm going to fucking kill them." He stated then abruptly turned around and started walking back to the cabin before turning around again, "No. I'm going to leave them here stranded like I originally planned only this time," Harry looked at Hagrid, "You're coming with me." Hagrid blinked.

"So yer goin' to Hogwarts then?" Harry smiled grimly.

"Hogwarts teaches magic right?" Hagrid nodded, "This You-Know-Who shit knows magic right?" Again, the giant nodded, frowning, "Then yes. I am going to Hogwarts."

* * *

Eira scowled and glared up at the sky.

"Gee, thanks for the warning oh mysterious voice who never said its name." She pouted, "Just for that, I'm going to name you Oswald. If you're a chick, then tough. The name stays."

She sat up, grumbling, and looked around her before freezing. She was in Diagon Alley. Her jaw dropped as she watched robed witches and wizards breeze past her without noticing her.

"Wow." She breathed before grinning. She was in the Harry Potter universe! How fucking cool was that? She was going to meet all her favorite characters. Eira frowned at that thought. Who to visit first?

There was Harry, but he was either with Hagrid or the Dursleys. Fred and George Weasley were probably at home surrounded by family. Draco Malfoy would be with his wanna-be dark friends and family. Remus was probably alone…Snape would either be at home or Hogwarts. She immediately vetoed him. She wasn't ready to go to Hogwarts yet.

Hmm…she thought, tapping her chin before suddenly snapping her fingers in realization. Of course! Why didn't she think of him earlier!

Eira grinned briefly before another thought occurred. How to find and get to him…

"Stupid Oswald." She glared at the sky once more, "Vagueness does not help me."

Sighing in exasperation, she settled into a comfortable position, closed her eyes and focused on her target.

* * *

Sirius Black was cold. And tired hungry, and a whole mess of other tidbits. No one but the dementor guards had ever visited his cell block in years and he was lonely.

Curled up as Padfoot on his dirty cot, he whined pitifully. He was miserable. All his friends were either dead or hated him, just like the rest of the wizarding world. He sniffled and covered his wet nose with a large black paw. Azkaban didn't provide medical care to its inmates. No, the wizarding government wanted its criminals to suffer. Inhuman bunch of megalomaniac bastards.

A growl escaped his jaws. To say he hated the government and all its employees was an understatement. Sirius loathed each and every one of the brown nosing buffoons. After all, it was they who threw him in here without a trial. Them and Dumbledore. His growl deepened to a vicious snarl. Dumbledore. At one time, he had respected the man. But he too, locked him up and forgot about him. The one person he had trusted to listen to him fairly had turned a blind eye. And for that, he would never forgive the manipulative old man.

A new smell suddenly wafted through the tiny cell and Padfoot tensed himself, glancing around carefully. Someone was here. He would feel someone's breath on his cheek then something soft descended on his head. He whined and braced himself for a blow but none came. Whoever it was, was scratching him gently behind his filthy hanging ears, then a voice breezed into his mind and gave him a tiny bit of something he hadn't felt in years. Hope.

_I will free you. Eventually. Hold on. _

* * *

Harry's Hogwarts letter isn't mine either. I got it from the first book. So thats not mine. Just like Harry isnt. pouts

Review please! Even if you hate it, please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:**

_**I'm sorry this isn't an update. It's just, I know I have some people who have this story under their favorites and might be waiting for an update and that's not going to happen. This story is officially being abandoned. I am, however, hoping someone will be willing to pick this story up and finish it. Just send me an email and let me know what you're planning first please. **_

_**I loved the idea I had for this story but I'm not into Harry Potter anymore and I can't finish this. If you go to my profile you can read a summary of what I had planned. It may help those of you who might be thinking of picking it up. Harry totally stays badass and sarcastic and such. I was going to put him in Hufflepuff and have him become close friends with Cedric Diggory, who in my story is so not nice and is more sarcastic and sharp witted like Harry. He's not mean per say, but he's not the typical Hufflepuff the books make him sound like. Hufflepuffs in my version are the most well rounded of all the houses. They don't have any one dominant trait like Gryffindor or Ravenclaws. Thus they are more able to see all sides of a situation and be able to go about the best possible action. They study hard and are possibly to strongest and smartest group in all of Hogwarts.**_

_**Oh and Harry gets his Potter fortune early on. He learns of Sirius and works to free him, which he eventually succeeds in doing. Sirius is different too. In the beginning Azkaban made him kind of loony but he recovers and is more serious and open minded. Smart. He thinks before he acts and rebels against Dumbledore. **_

_**::sighs:: I really do love the ideas I had. Someone pick this up please, I'd love to read it. **_

_**Again sorry but I can't finish this. **_


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